The Internal Voice of Eating Disorders

Listen to The Mustn’ts

Listen to Mustn'ts, child, listen to the Don'ts.

Listen to the Shouldn'ts, the Impossibles, the Won'ts.

Listen to the Never Haves, then listen close to me.

Anything can happen, child, Anything can be

-Shel Silverstein 

Part 1 of the Internal Voice of Eating Disorders

This Shel Silverstein poem is one of my favorites- one of a few poems I can recite from memory (notice it is not long :).

Though this is a poem about resilience and pushing yourself to succeed in the face of naysayers and conformists, it is also a poem that describes what the struggle is like between two voices in your head.

The voice of fear and restriction, as opposed to the voice of options, courage, and opportunity.

When working with eating, we must help our patients see that the voice of shouldn‘ts and impossibles controls them. Their lives are being organized by restriction and punishment.

It is fair to say that most of us struggle with something in our lives- even if it is not eating and bodies. Years ago, one of my patients referred to the critical voice in her head as The Parliament. I loved that analogy. Choose one that feels right for the voice inside of you.

This poem reflects the internal struggle that the ED, whom I refer to as a hijacker, imposes on ED sufferers or hostages.

When the voice in our head constantly tells us no, and that’s too much, and eating less makes us powerful, we start to believe that as truth.

We starve.

And starve.

And starve some more.

Sure, maybe we binge, but those of us who work with eating disorders know that underneath every binge is a sense of starvation.

We must, as therapists, healers and support systems, introduce the voice and play the role of the other voice which is abundance and freedom.

We must represent and insist on the presence of the voice that anything is possible. We do not need to stay victims to this powerful hijacker. We can reach for the hidden voice of choice.