What Fuels Us
I had a week off this week- I could spend real time with my family- which is always so important for me.
There are some times when time off doesn’t feel like it is recharging and refueling. The time itself can feel rushed or tiring, like I am trying to push too many things into a small space.
But for me, in the words of Goldilocks- this break was just right.
I had some time to think about resilience, what causes some people to be optimistic and hopeful, and what allows others to view the glass as half-empty and self-defeating.
Perhaps some people are over-cautious, wary of risk, and putting themselves out there.
It can be terrifying to push yourself because what if it fails? How scary to put your whole self out there and have that not be good enough?
I was listening to some Brené Brown, always a source of inspiration, and thinking of her phenomenon of a book Daring Greatly. Her words reminded me of something that my therapist said to me, and I tell my patients- and think of often.
There is nothing more important than feeling like you are doing your very best at something. You are pushing yourself for greatness.
If the goal is simply to do the very best you can, it makes “failure” an impossibility. It may or may not be a measurable success and may not lead to fame and fortune, but every time you pick yourself up and take in a rejection or put forth an effort that is met with a lackluster response, and then have the ability to go at it again, something within us changes.
We fundamentally become stronger, wiser, and more empathic.
Pushing ourselves for better. To be better, think better, and live with meaning is really what this whole revolution around the sun is about. Brené says that she no longer hears the voices from the bleachers (paraphrasing), but she will listen to and be inspired by anyone who is in the actual arena pushing themselves to make a change.
No matter what venue that change is in or what type of work is, if you are pushing yourself and others to be better, you have earned yourself a seat at the table.
The other thing she talks about is who you are surrounding yourself with.
Are they people who are rooting for your success?
Are they cheering for you when you stumble, or are they secretly taking pleasure when your dreams seem elusive and hard?
The older I get, the more my circle narrows and deepens. I am holding people closer who root for me and who I trust to pick me up when I fall and propel me forward when I lose steam.
It is fascinating how, over the years, those people have begun to stand out in technicolor and become my life's vibrant tapestry.
I seem to have less and less space for those whose intentions I question.
I listen closely to the warning in my gut when I feel that this may not be someone supportive of me and connected in a way that I trust and need.
Resilience is intricately connected to our people. To our cheering squads.
It also builds our resilience to cheer for those we love.
Jealousy does not suit us. It detracts from who we can truly be. Feeling joy and excitement for the people we love makes us shine brighter and be better.
Our own success is only a piece of the puzzle. The other half of success is to feel joy and fulfillment for the people we love.
To feel joy for ourselves and for others.
These two things together are what makes us whole.
All of these elements combined are our fuel. Pushing ourselves for greatness in whatever way matters most to you, surrounding ourselves with those who feel joy in our success and those who we uninhibitedly love and root for. Every day.
This is our foundation of growth and greatness.
